Category: life

In the fifteenth Century, Bengal, India, there was a young scholar, Raghunath, who wished to be the greatest philosopher of his age. He worked very hard to try and be the most respected teacher and philosopher in his region.

Once Raghunath went for a boat trip with his best friend. His friend had written a short book of philosophy. This book was the acme of perfection. With great erudition and clarity he had resolved all the philosophical problems. On reading this book, Raghunath, started to weep because he now knew that he would now never be the greatest scholar. His friend asked Raghunath, why are you so miserable? Raghunath replied “I always wanted to be the greatest scholar, but, on reading this I know I never will be. It far surpasses anything I am capable of. It is concise, clear and original.”

His friend said ‘Is that all? Then do not weep, me dear brother. I don’t care to be a great philosopher; Philosophy will never give me the satisfaction I am looking for. I care infinitely more for the happiness of my friend.” His friend then took the book and casually threw this great work into the river.

Raghunath went on to be the first authority on this branch of philosophy. His friend was Sri Chaitanya. Sri Chaitanya was a devotee of the highest order; on repeating sacred mantras he would slip into spiritual ecstasy. Sri Chaitanya cared nothing for worldly praise and worldly success; he only wanted to remain immersed in the inner delight of constant communion with his beloved – Sri Krishna. Sri Chaitanya would later renounce the world and took the life of a wandering mendicant constantly chanting the name of Hari (Krishna). The devotion and love of Sri Chaitanya (Gauranga) revitalised the tradition of Bhakti in India. Continue reading “Sacrifice for a Friend”

Are you heading to nowhere in particular ? Do you think where you will be in 5 years and get depressed at the thought?

These are some suggestions on how to look anew at the direction of your Life.

Are You doing what other people want you to do?

Either consciously or unconsciously we place great value on the expectations and peer pressure of other people. This may be our friends, families or just society. This kind of peer pressure can be very confining; it limits our aspirations and actions. However, there is no guarantee that what society expects from us is what our soul wants to do. Great innovators and thinkers have to go beyond the narrow confines of society. Never feel guilty for following your inner instincts and inner voice. If people disapprove, so be it. It is a mistake to our life be dictated by the aspirations of other people.

Do you have a sense of dissatisfaction?

Does life feel a constant grind, with limited chance for satisfaction? If there we have no newness in life, dissatisfaction inevitably comes. Avoid repeating the same old routines, especially if they offer no chance for creativity or personal satisfaction. Don’t be resigned to a life of boredom and negativity. Look to re-energise your life.

Do you feel Limited by Your Circumstances?

When things don’t go well; when we have a sense of dissatisfaction – we tend to blame society and external circumstances beyond our control. However, if we spend our time complaining and blaming other people, we become helpless and hopeless. Whatever hand fate deals we should not feel this is our final destination. We can shape and mold our destiny, we just have to be willing to take responsibility for our lives.

“I’m a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”

– Thomas Jefferson

Do you have unfulfilled Dreams and Ambitions?

I know a few people in their 30s and they say. O I’ve made the wrong choices. I’ve lost my chance to do what I wanted. They are the best side of 40 and they already talk as if their life is over. If you have not followed your dreams, why not start doing it now? The fact that when we were young, we choose a different path doesn’t mean we should resign ourselves to this fate. There is no reason why we cannot change course. Take time to think what would really inspire you; what are the things you would like to do; who would you like to become? There is nothing more important that working out your inner and outer priorities. When you know what you would like to do, what is to hold you back?

Are You Stuck in Bad Habits.

Quite often, the main reason for heading nowhere in particular, is the fact we are stuck in bad habits. These are habits that limit our perspectives and outlook on life. The problem is that after a while, we feel that these habits have become part of ourself. Because we associate ourselves with our habits, we feel powerless to change them. However, it is possible to take a new direction; with determination we can free ourselves from bad habits.

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Photo by Palyati, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

Arguing can be an emotionally draining experience, so we need to be careful in how we prepare and engage in argument. This is not so much a guide on how to win arguments; it is more a guide on when to argue and how to conduct an argument.

Don’t insist on having the last word.

Focus on getting your argument across effectively and coherently; when you have adequately explained your position don’t feel a necessity to keep repeating yourself. There are some people who will never want to admit defeat; no matter what you say they will want to keep arguing. There are occasions when you just need to let people have the last word; having the last word does not mean you have won the argument.

Silence can be a very powerful Argument

True words aren’t eloquent;
eloquent words aren’t true.
Wise men don’t need to prove their point;
men who need to prove their point aren’t wise.

Tao Te Ching verse: 81

Foolish people will want to pick arguments over inconsequential things. Great thinkers and innovators are often criticised, only because people are suspicious of new things. If these pioneers stopped to argue with all the self styled critics, the evolution of the world would have been a lot slower. This is the art of knowing when to argue and when to remain silent. If you have faith in an idea or vision, don’t stop to have meaningless arguments. Often great people aren’t appreciated until they are dead; but, truly great people don’t create a lasting legacy through engaging in arguments with critics.

Pick the Right Argument to have

You could spend all day finding reasons to argue with other people. But, if we are honest, arguments rarely have much benefit. An argument should be seen as the last alternative; only argue where it would compromise some significant principle. If possible try to find a way to suggest ideas in a non confrontational way. If we need to challenge someone’s opinion’s there may be better ways of doing this than a head-on argument.

Continue reading “The Art of Effective Argument”

Does life often get you down? Life can be tough, but,  there are also a few things we can do to easily brush away some of the common difficulties.

Common Problems and how to deal with it

Lack of Money

It is easy to feel that if we could just get a few thousand more dollars – all our problems would be solved. However, you may find even if you won a thousand dollars, you would still want more. Life will always create money worries – the important thing is how to deal with them. Try to keep money in its proper place, don’t let it dominate your life. Take practical steps to improve your financial situation, but try also to be content with your current situation; it is a mistake to always feel that a lack of money is our most significant problem.

Lack of Motivation

Often we know what we should do, but, we feel no inclination to start. A lack of motivation means that we never try new things and life can easily become stale. A lack of motivation is related to a feeling of boredom and self doubt. There are many practical ways to overcome a lack of motivation; the most important thing is just to start new projects. Often when we make the initial first step, we realise it is not as difficult as we feared. It can also be important to set goals, if we make certain targets it becomes harder to find excuses and avoid doing it.

Problems keep repeating themselves

Quite often, when we solve or avoid a problem, it repeats itself through another person or another experience. This can be dispiriting because it seems we will never be able to gain peace of mind. The solution is not to keep trying to avoid the problem, when we have a defect in our character the problem will keep appearing. To resolve this kind of problem we need to take a fresh perspective and try to understand the underlying cause of the problem. This may require some honest self criticism. Look at your motives and thoughts and see whether you can approach issues from a different perspective.

Continue reading “Why Life Feels Difficult And What To Do About It.”

It is estimated that 20% of adults at some time are suffering from depression. It is a difficult experience to go through, but, it is also difficult for the friends and families who live with those suffering from depression. The extent of depression varies, but, everyone will at some time encounter friends who are feeling unhappy and miserable. On these occasions what is the best approach to take?

Some ideas on How to Deal With depressed People:

Be Happy Don’t be Depressed

This is really important. The best antidote to depression is the opposite – happiness. If you can remain cheerful and positive, this will imperceptibly rub off on the other person. This does not mean we have to maintain an over the top, happy persona, – this will just be irritating. However, it is a mistake to feel that we need to empathise with their depression so much that we become depressed ourselves.

Be Patient

If people experience a lasting period of depression, the last thing they need to hear is the retort – “O why don’t you just snap out of it.” Maybe this is appropriate for temporary bad moods, but, in the case of depression we can not expect an immediate fix. It is important to remain patient and understanding. We should not impose a time limit when we expect the depression to end. Patience is important and we should not become frustrated when our friends fail to resolve their difficulties

Don’t Be Judgemental

It is important to offer support to people without offering constant judgement about what is right and wrong. It is very helpful to listen to the problems of other people. This is not so we can tell them what to do; often just listening to others, gives them the opportunity to work out their own problems.
Continue reading “Offering Support to Depressed People”

If you find yourself stuck in a rut, life can become monotonous, dreary and uninspiring. It is easy to feel life is going nowhere, especially if we have problems at work or with family. To bring newness into our lives we need to first realise that we are actually stuck in a rut. After that we can make a conscious decision to rejuvenate our lives.

Here are some Practical Tips to Get out of a Rut.

1. Set Challenges

Personal challenges are a very powerful way of motivating yourself to do something new. If there is no target it is easy to make a half-hearted effort and give up. However, when we have something very clear to aim for, it is much more likely we will actually make something happen.

2. Focus on the Present Moment

Do you spend alot of time regretting the past? Everyone makes decisions they later regret, but, if you become consumed with regret you will not be able to move forward and forget the experience. Don’t be preoccupied with the past and future, try to enjoy the present moment.

3. Do Without Some Everyday things

It is easy to get into a routine where we spend several hours doing the same uninspiring activities. If you are addicted to watching TV, surfing the net or playing computer games, make a decision to do without them for a day or week; this will force you to do something completely different. This does not mean you have to give up watching TV completely. It is just that if we become totally absorbed in one activity, it leaves no opportunity for discovering newness in our life.

4. Learn a new Skill

There are many things that we could use to improve our life. Learning a new skill gives us the opportunity to find a new avenue for creativity and inspiration. In the process of learning we can get a feeling of self improvement. This is the best antidote to being stuck in a rut.

5. Do Something for Other People

When we live only for our own pleasure, there feels something lacking. When we do something selflessly for other people, we bring out the best in ourselves. Offering useful service to other people is highly rewarding.

Continue reading “10 Tips To Get out of a Rut”

 

• Listen to the promptings of the heart a little more, and listen to the complaints of the mind a little less.

O my mind,
You talk too much!
Do follow my heart
That lives in silence.

– Sri Chinmoy

• Value Inner Peace above all other desires. – If we have inner peace we will be content no matter how many material possessions we have.
• Be a good listener. Don’t always talk about Yourself.
• Don’t expect from other people. If you expect from other people you will be disappointed at some time.
• Be willing to do things without demanding recognition. It is only the ego that wants recognition.
• Think of others more than you think of yourself. Self-giving is the secret of happiness.
• Avoid acting or speaking when angry or upset. If you wait your mood will improve and you will avoid regretting it later.
• Be Tolerant of Others. People are trying in their own way to do the right thing.
• Don’t try and do two things at once. If you are with someone, give your whole attention to them, – don’t be planning how to pay your gas bill.
• Don’t Try to Impress Others. There is no need.

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.”

– Lao Tzu Continue reading “Simple and Practical Ways to Live a Better life”

We can easily spend 8 hours a day working, yet to find just 30 minutes for our own relaxation can seem very difficult. Many beginners to meditation state that a big difficulty is finding time to meditate. However, if we really want to do something – we can make time. Here are a few suggestions for finding time for meditation or a moment of relaxation.

1. Create Your Own Time.

If we wait until we have done everything else and then meditate, we will always be struggling to find time. The best way to create time is to set a fixed time for the specific purpose of our own meditation. This can be for 15 minutes or it can be for half an hour. The important thing is that we will see this time as non negotiable. Other things can always wait. The advantage of a certain fixed time, for our own personal development, is that we will feel relaxed in this time. We will know that during this period there will be no other demands on our time. This is essential to creating a feeling of relaxation. Work out a suitable time for creating your own space and time. You may find that early in the morning is very conducive to meditation.

2. Don’t Do Things Twice.

How often do we find ourselves watching the same news on two different occasions? If you watch the news on several different times and then read the same items on the internet we are gaining nothing extra but just wasting our time. This principle can be used for many different scenarios. The important thing is that we avoid going over the same ground twice. If you have checked your email half an hour ago, there is no need to do it again.

3. Get Up Early.

Morning is the best part of the day, but, it is easy to waste it – lying in bed for longer than necessary. Often we get up early in the week, but, then sleep in at the weekend. However, there is no reason to lose time, just because it is the weekend. Dozing in bed does not make us less tired – even if our mind likes us to think so. Make a determined effort to get up earlier and maintain a regular time for every day. The secret to successful sleeping is to get into a pattern of getting up early and then sticking to it.

Continue reading “Finding Time For Relaxation”

When we wish to improve our life we assume we need to make radical changes. We look for some programme or person who will fundamentally change our life. However, with this attitude we forget that we can radically change our life just by making a few small changes.

Try these suggestions and consider what impact they have.

Be patient

When you are standing in a line waiting for slow customer service, instead of getting frustrated see this as an opportunity to remain calm and peaceful. Many people regularly get upset and angry because of small defects in the quality of a good / service. However, becoming upset does not help in any way; all you do is to try and spread your unhappiness. The next time you are victim to an unavoidable delay, don’t lose your equanimity, but be patient. If you can retain peace of mind in these situations you life will benefit immeasurably. All we are trying to do is change our habitual response and perspective to these unavoidable events.

Smile.

A smile costs nothing, but it creates a powerful positive vibration. When we smile we are offering our good will to the other person. Furthermore, this good will is much more effective than anything we can say. We should not just smile at our friends, but also at those who cause us consternation. If our smile is sincere it can remove many negative feelings and defuse tense situations. People will unconsciously respond positively to us when we smile. Whatever the situation, smiling will help. Research also suggests that smiling helps ourselves.

Smile, my heart, smile.
Your smile means so much to me,
Your smile feeds my reality within,
Your smile liberates me from world-clamour and
world-din.
Smile, my heart, smile.
Smile at least once in a while.

– Sri Chinmoy
Continue reading “7 Small Things that can Make a Big Difference.”