Dealing With Adversity

sunset game

“Adversity makes you dynamic.
Adversity endow you
With faith in yourself.”

– Sri Chinmoy

Adversity and difficulties are an inescapable part of life. To try and hide from adversity can never work. Whatever we do we will face challenges and and adversity. The important thing is not what happens to you but how we accept and deal with it.

When adversity Strikes these are some tips for dealing with it.

Don’t Give Up

Sometimes we take difficulties as a sign to give up or ‘it is not meant for us’ But, if we look at people who have achieved great things, almost invariably they recovered from initial set backs. The great Abraham Lincoln had so many set backs before becoming US President. (Lost job
Defeated for state legislature (1832), Failed in business (1833), Had nervous breakdown(1936) Defeated for Senate (1854,1858) Yet he became one of the most influential presidents of all time. If at first we don’t succeed we need to have faith in our goal and keep going.

Don’t Blame Others / the Situation

When things go wrong we are apt to blame other people and other situations. The blame game may help us feel a little bit better, but, it doesn’t help us deal with the adverse forces we are faced with. Really successful people don’t have time to blame the situation as this can easily encourage a sense of self-pity that is not helpful. We have to take where we are and do what we can to improve our situation. Rather than complaining, if we focus on what we can do we will be much more effective.

Learn From Adversity.

It may be a bit of a cliche, but, it really is difficult situations which give us a great opportunity for self-improvement. If life was easy we would  just become complacent and too laid back. It is adversity that forces us to re-evaluate our pre-conceived ideas and ingrained habits. Adversity is the shock that can lead to a deeper and more thoughtful attitude. If we see adversity as a necessary event for our own self-improvement half the fear of adversity is lost. We no longer see the difficult situation as our enemy but as part of our life.

Don’t Worry

We cannot change things beyond our control, so why worry over the inevitable? One of the difficult aspects of adverse situations is the uncertainty and worry that can accompany a deterioration in events. Maybe we worry over our financial situation. But, we shouldn’t let the worry get out of control and become excessive. Rather than using our mental energy for worrying about things over which we have no control, if we use this energy for doing what we can, our situation will definitely improve.

Detachment

Similar to the last point, detachment helps to be less depressed by the difficulties we face. The worst response is to feel guilty because of difficulties that have arrived. There is only so much we can do when faced with certain situations. We should judge our inner response not the outcome. Sometimes we can be our own worst critic and blame ourselves for things beyond our control. If we have difficulties with the attitude of friends and family – what can we do? Our responsibility is to do the right thing and respond with a compassionate attitude. But, we cannot change others or make bad situations disappear. Don’t feel bad for things that are beyond our control.

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Photo by Kedar – Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

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4 thoughts on “Dealing With Adversity”

  1. I can see your perspective and where you are coming from in Adversity (continued difficulty), but I feel it really comes down to Diversity (a variety in differences).

    I have expanded hugely in conscious growth through Adversity and I do give it credit and value, but I have reached a point in my conscious awareness experience, where Adversity can be avoided through the filter of Diversity. I find that the expansion is still huge and much rewarding without the ‘pain’ of difficulty.

    When I push myself to grow through Diversity, Adversity seems to disappear. Perhaps Adversity is designed to push people forward when they stop growing consciously?

    Pain is not needed, it’s only a perspective that is lacking an awareness of what is unfolding. In my experience, life doesn’t have to be suffering, quite the opposite indeed.

    In fact Diversity is so important for growth that is actually an emotional need. This need is the essence of excitement and creativity. To feel a sense of surprise. To feel the invitation of something new. To add variety to your life. To feel the feeling of stimulation and growth.

    Very thought-proving article, thank you! 🙂

  2. Pingback: Posts about Interpersonal conflict and dealing with people as of February 16, 2009 — Persuasive Skills and Savvy with Dr. K
  3. Without the darkness we wouldn’t appreciate the light, if there wouldn’t be any “bad”, we wouldn’t see all the good…

    I think we should fully enjoy all those moments that are free from adversity, but when we have to face difficult moments (and sooner or later we all have to), we shouldn’t try to hide or to run away… Instead we should become aware of the immense potential for personal growth that lies in adversity and use it as a vehicle towards more growth, enlightenment and awareness… and as we arrive there, we can once again fully enjoy all the happiness and fulfillment we gained through this transformational experience.

    Thank you very much for this great article 😉

  4. I do not believe that difficulties are unavoidable. Of course, we all have challenges in our lives, but it is only up to us if we choose to struggle against them.

    When you are not in the flow of life, you are struggling. Negative emotions always indicate that you are going against the flow.

    If you could just let go of that negativity and follow what feels good, you would so quickly get into the flow of life.

    People struggle only becose they choose to do so. Struggle always shows that this is not the right way to go, yet some people would do anything to get ahead, although all life forces try to stop them from taking the wrong action.

    Yet some struggle so hard that after years of hard work they actually ‘succeed’ – only to find out that this feels not as good as they thought it would.

    After some time (a year or two) they feel empty and unhappy.

    It is so much easier just to get into the flow of life and be guided by your feelings. What feels good is always good, you should always pursue whatever you are drawn towards.

    We have feelings for a very good reason. They guide us and warn us if we are about to take the action that will get us into trouble. Yet just a few use their feelings to their fullest potential.

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