This is in response to a readers question about how to deal with lack of confidence.
List Some Positive Qualities
Here, you have to be honest with yourself. Yes, you will have some weaknesses, but, also you have some strengths and good qualities. If you lack self confidence maybe you are sensitive person, who is keenly aware of other people’s feelings. Turn this sensitivity into a strength; feel that your empathy with other people makes you a better person. Try to list several good qualities and / or several positive contributions that you have made and avoid feelings of false modesty.
Spend Time With Positive People.
Unfortunately, sometimes when we lack self confidence we can gravitate towards people who instinctively like to put others down. (This behaviour is rooted in their own insecurities – they knock other people to make themselves feel better). However, spending time with negative people is inevitably very bad for our self confidence. It is a real shame when this happens repeatedly for some people. Look closely at the people you spend your time with, if they are always criticising you (either directly or indirectly) try spend more time with people who don’t.
Be Yourself – Don’t Imitate
You can only gain self-confidence when you are trying to be yourself. In some social situations we feel awkward so the temptation is to do what you think other people expect; we try to be somebody we are not. But, when we are trying to be someone that we are not, inevitably we lack self-confidence because the element of falseness in being something we are not.
Don’t think of failure
If we constantly worry about things going wrong then a lack of self confidence is almost inevitable. Don’t feel you are a victim to your thoughts, learn to control them. There is an article here about – how to control your thoughts.
Give Yourself a chance to succeed.
If you lack self confidence, it is a bigger mistake to always hold yourself back. Try inspiring yourself to give some activities a chance. If you never attempt anything and avoid engaging in social activities, it is likely that your self-confidence will never get chance to be rebuilt.
Be Kind To Yourself.
Life is not about being hard on yourself, if you can’t be kind to yourself – who is going to be? Being kind to yourself involves several different aspects. I have written about this before. One particular example is – Dress smart – give yourself confidence by wearing clothes you are comfortable with. Wearing the right clothes for the situation makes a big difference to your self-confidence. see: Be Kind to Yourself