Finding Time For Relaxation

morning fog

We can easily spend 8 hours a day working, yet to find just 30 minutes for our own relaxation can seem very difficult. Many beginners to meditation state that a big difficulty is finding time to meditate. However, if we really want to do something – we can make time. Here are a few suggestions for finding time for meditation or a moment of relaxation.

1. Create Your Own Time.

If we wait until we have done everything else and then meditate, we will always be struggling to find time. The best way to create time is to set a fixed time for the specific purpose of our own meditation. This can be for 15 minutes or it can be for half an hour. The important thing is that we will see this time as non negotiable. Other things can always wait. The advantage of a certain fixed time, for our own personal development, is that we will feel relaxed in this time. We will know that during this period there will be no other demands on our time. This is essential to creating a feeling of relaxation. Work out a suitable time for creating your own space and time. You may find that early in the morning is very conducive to meditation.

2. Don’t Do Things Twice.

How often do we find ourselves watching the same news on two different occasions? If you watch the news on several different times and then read the same items on the internet we are gaining nothing extra but just wasting our time. This principle can be used for many different scenarios. The important thing is that we avoid going over the same ground twice. If you have checked your email half an hour ago, there is no need to do it again.

3. Get Up Early.

Morning is the best part of the day, but, it is easy to waste it – lying in bed for longer than necessary. Often we get up early in the week, but, then sleep in at the weekend. However, there is no reason to lose time, just because it is the weekend. Dozing in bed does not make us less tired – even if our mind likes us to think so. Make a determined effort to get up earlier and maintain a regular time for every day. The secret to successful sleeping is to get into a pattern of getting up early and then sticking to it.

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10 Tips to Avoid Becoming Depressed

sunset game

Is it possible to avoid depression? What is the secret of cultivating happiness and avoiding periods of unhappiness? To a large extent, we determine our own frame of mind; we shouldn’t feel that we are a helpless victim to depression. Depression is something that we can avoid by cultivating the opposite – happiness.

Here are some tips for avoiding depression

1. Offer goodwill to Others.

If we seek to make others miserable how can we expect to be happy ourselves? If we offer goodwill to other people this creates a powerful positive energy. Focusing on other people’s good qualities can definitely help improve our own state of mind. There is a principle that what we give out, we get back. Therefore, by offering positive energy to, at some time, we will also be the recipient.

2. Learn to Detach from Thoughts

Thoughts play a very significant role in determining our state of mind. If we pursue negative thoughts then we give them greater power and influence over our state of being. However, it is possible to decide which thoughts to allow and which to reject. We have to learn to be vigilant and prevent negative thoughts from taking hold. As soon as we become aware of negative thoughts we should let go of them. We can imagine that we are throwing them out of our mind into a cosmic dustbin.

3. Keep Busy.

If we struggle to detach from negative thoughts we should just throw ourselves into other activities. When we get involved in other activities that we enjoy it takes us out of ourselves. Activity forces us to do something constructive, and does not allow us to dwell on our depressed state of mind.

4. Avoid Feelings of guilt.

If we have made a mistake, harbouring feelings of guilt will not help alleviate the situation. In particular, we are seeking to avoid feelings of guilty for minor events of no significance. Often we have done nothing wrong, but, others seek to make us feel guilty for their bad fortune. Instead of feeling guilty we should seek to concentrate on doing the right thing.

5. Live a Balanced Life.

In life we need to make room for different aspects. If we focus all our time and energy on work then we will have no time for relaxation and cultivating other aspects of our life. If we pursue an unbalanced life unhappiness is more likely to occur.

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How to Deal With Problems

man on beach

Problems cannot be avoided in everyday life. When we do not have difficulties, the human mind has a tendency to create extra problems. To deal with problems that arise we should not seek to avoid them. We need to look at them as an opportunity to improve our nature. By overcoming problems we can strengthen our will and learn valuable lessons.

Here are some tips for dealing with problems:

1. Don’t Feel Miserable

The existence of a problem does not mean we should feel miserable or guilty. True, the problem may be the result of our previous mistakes, but, regretting the past will not help us deal with the issue at hand. Also, quite often problems arise through no fault of our own. To feel guilty for problems created by others is to make a double mistake.

2. Opportunity not a Problem

Often what we see as a problem is really an opportunity to learn something or overcome a certain weakness. We will never invite problems into our life, but if we are able to have the right attitude we realise that by overcoming them we can learn something quite valuable.

Our goal is not to have
A problem-free life.
But to conquer all the problems
As they appear
Along our life-road.

Source: No Unreachable Goal, by Sri Chinmoy

3. Be Resolute

If the problem is stemming from other people, we have to be steadfast in not allowing the problem to enter into us. We should try to build an invisible barrier to stop the negativity entering into us. For example, if others are very stressed, they will subconsciously try to pass their anxieties onto us. If we are not strong these anxieties will enter into us. However, if we can detach ourselves from their worries and stress we will remain unaffected.

“Courage consists in equality to the problem before us.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

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7 Small Things that can Make a Big Difference.

magnolia

When we wish to improve our life we assume we need to make radical changes. We look for some programme or person who will fundamentally change our life. However, with this attitude we forget that we can radically change our life just by making a few small changes.

Try these suggestions and consider what impact they have.

Be patient

When you are standing in a line waiting for slow customer service, instead of getting frustrated see this as an opportunity to remain calm and peaceful. Many people regularly get upset and angry because of small defects in the quality of a good / service. However, becoming upset does not help in any way; all you do is to try and spread your unhappiness. The next time you are victim to an unavoidable delay, don’t lose your equanimity, but be patient. If you can retain peace of mind in these situations you life will benefit immeasurably. All we are trying to do is change our habitual response and perspective to these unavoidable events.

Smile.

A smile costs nothing, but it creates a powerful positive vibration. When we smile we are offering our good will to the other person. Furthermore, this good will is much more effective than anything we can say. We should not just smile at our friends, but also at those who cause us consternation. If our smile is sincere it can remove many negative feelings and defuse tense situations. People will unconsciously respond positively to us when we smile. Whatever the situation, smiling will help. Research also suggests that smiling helps ourselves.

Smile, my heart, smile.
Your smile means so much to me,
Your smile feeds my reality within,
Your smile liberates me from world-clamour and
world-din.
Smile, my heart, smile.
Smile at least once in a while.

– Sri Chinmoy
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10 Powerful Ways to Deal with Anger

anger

Here are some practical suggestions for dealing with anger.

1. When you are angry say nothing.

If we speak in anger we will definitely aggravate the situation and quite likely hurt the feelings of others. If we speak in anger we will find that people respond in kind, creating a spiral of negative anger. If we can remain outwardly silent it gives time for the emotion of anger to leave us.

“When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.

Thomas Jefferson

2. Be indifferent to those who seek to make us angry.

Some people may unfortunately take a malicious pleasure in trying to make you mad. However, if we can feel indifferent to them and their words; if we feel it is beyond our dignity to even acknowledge them, then their words and actions will have no effect. Also, if we do not respond in any way to their provocation, they will lose interest and not bother us in the future.

3. Use reason to stop anger.

When we feel anger coming to the fore try to take a step back and say to yourself “This anger will not help me in any way. This anger will make the situation worse.” Even if part of us remains angry our inner voice is helping us to distance our self from the emotion of anger.

4. Look kindly upon Others.

Another visualisation, suggested by spiritual teacher Paramhansa Yogananda, is to see the anger-rousing agent as a 5 year old child. If you think of the other person as a helpless 5 year old child your compassion and forgiveness will come to the fore. If your baby brother accidentally stabbed you, you would not feel anger and desire to retaliate. Instead, you would just feel he is just too young to know any better. This exercise may be particularly useful for close members of the family who at times evoke your anger.

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The Power of Simplicity

lake

In Modern Life there are a seemingly endless series of options and avenues. At each turn, life seems to present numerous complications. It becomes hard to resist the allure of doing more things and trying to solve a myriad of problems. However,  we are often, consciously or unconsciously, yearning for a more simple approach to life. If we can make an effort to bring more simplicity into our lives, we will find many benefits arise.

  1. Peace of Mind.
    Simplicity doesn’t necessarily involve living in a Spartan hut. Real simplicity begins in the mind. If we have numerous anxieties and problems it is not possible to have peace of mind. Simplicity means we learn to clear the mind and not allow ourselves to be bombarded by an endless stream of needless thoughts.
  2. Living in the present.
    Complication in life often arises because  we are worrying and planning about the future. We can become so concerned about what may happen tomorrow or next year that we forget to enjoy the present moment. To have one’s focus on the here and now, is to encompass life as it is supposed to be.
  3. Less Planning and Thinking
    When we complicate life through our endless planning we bring tomorrow’s problems into today. Yet it is always worth remembering that our worries and fears about the future often prove to be groundless.
  4. Avoiding Judgement.
    It is part of human nature to criticise and judge other people. It is very easy to make a long list of complaints and suggestions about other people. But does it help us when we highlight the faults of others? We should feel that we are not responsible for other people’s thoughts and behaviour. If we feel it is our bounden duty to change others, there can be no simplicity and peace in our life. Rather than try to change others, let us just try to focus on changing ourselves. Our own weaknesses are probably more than enough to deal with.
  5. Focus and Achievement
    Simplicity enables more to be achieved. Simplicity means that we are focused on one thing at a time. Simplicity means we can put all our concentration on just one thing. If we perform an action with no distractions then we can fulfil it quicker and more successfully. Often, when we simplify our life, we find we can actually achieve more than when we juggled several things at once.
  6. “The simpler we can become, the sooner we shall reach our destination. A life of simplicity is a life of constant progress. It is in simplicity that we can make the fastest progress, progress which is everlasting.”

    – Sri Chinmoy

  7. Simplicity and Beauty.
    Simplicity is often synonymous with beauty. For example, Zen gardens are uncluttered and simple, yet in that simplicity there is a beauty which appeals to our soul. It is the same with Mother Nature; the essence of nature is its unspoilt beauty. Has man ever been able to improve on the beauty and simplicity of nature?
  8. Happiness
    Be happy with what we have. As George Bernard Shaw aptly said

“There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart’s desire; the other is to get it.”

The nature of desire is that the more we get the more we want. When we get a new car, often after a while we are not satisfied and want to get something better. However real happiness comes when we are content with what we have and are free of desire.

Photo by: Ranjit Swanson, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries (from Nepal)

Improving your Meditation

day

1. Music for Meditation.

If music is soulful and peaceful it brings our soul to the fore. When we hear soulful meditative music our inner being begins to aspire for a deeper and more meaningful reality. This aspiration to reach a more fulfilling, expansive consciousness is the real secret of meditation. When we have a burning inner flame then our meditation technique becomes of little importance. When we are inwardly aspiring for peace, light and joy our soul meditates spontaneously on our behalf. Music can definitely awaken our slumbering inner spirit.

“Each time we hear soulful music, we get inspiration and delight. In the twinkling of an eye, music can elevate our consciousness.” (1)

– Sri Chinmoy

Music for meditation can give us real inspiration but we should make sure the music is composed and played in a meditative consciousness. If the music creates restlessness and excitement then this will not help in any way our meditation.

2. Meditate on Nature.

Nature embodies a dynamic peace. The beauty, expanse and scale of nature are very conducive to meditation. The Spiritual Master Sri Ramakrishna told his disciples to always meditate when they came across an expanse of water. Water signifies consciousness and purity; this consciousness and purity are the essence of meditation. If we can meditate at the ocean’s edge we will also feel a sense of infinity and expanse. It is hard for the human mind to conceive of concepts like infinity and immortality, but when we see the ocean stretching into the distance we can definitely be inspired by this concept of infinity.

3. Meditate with an adept of Meditation.

If we can have the opportunity to meditate with a real expert in meditation we will definitely feel something in their meditation. When we meditate in the presence of a real Spiritual Master we can benefit from the peace and light that they bring down. If we do not have the opportunity to meditate in the presence of a living spiritual master we can meditate on the photo of some Teacher, whom we have the utmost faith. If the photo was taken during meditation the picture will embody a meditative consciousness. If we can enter into this meditative consciousness it will bring our own inner meditative power to the fore. This consciousness is the secret of meditation.

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Is Old Age the End?

Is old age a time to collect your bus pass, curl up with your horlicks and serenely await your impending exit from life?

Many people, including the retired themselves, see old age is a negative way. They see their declining physical abilities as a reason to draw back and retire from many activities they used to enjoy. However, does old age have to be the embarrassing left overs of life? There is no reason why old age can not give as much inspiration, enjoyment and newness as our formative student years. Perhaps they can be even better, as we have probably learnt by bitter experience, that happiness does not come through drinking 10 pints of beer and trying to impress our friends.

Do Not give Up.

It is true that in old age our faculties will not be as good. Our hearing, eyesight e.t.c will be a little diminished. Yet, even though we may be a little slower than before, this is no reason to stop doing things that we used to enjoy. The first thing we should do is not to compare by the same standards as in the prime of our youth. If we are a keen runner, our times will invariably slow down compared to our youth. However, we should not feel bad about slower times. Rather than comparing from 20 years ago, we should seek to do a seasonal best each year. What is important is that we get a good feeling from our running or other activity..

Young at Heart.

Old age is as much a state of mind as it is a physical deterioration. In our attitude we can feel old at the age of 40; by the same token a 90 year old can feel young at heart. If we constantly think about age as a barrier then we allow the negative effects of old age to influence our mind. However, if we do not place importance on age, we can look on the world with the eyes of a young person. To be able to do this, we should live in the heart and not in the critical mind. The nature of the mind is to welcome negative, restricting thoughts. It is the mind which will over-exaggerate the importance of physical age. If we live in the heart we remain at the source of spontaneity and newness.

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An Introduction to Meditation

sunset Hawaii

There are many different types of meditation, but ultimately they all share the common goal of quietening the mind and stopping our thoughts. When we meditate we must not allow either good or bad thoughts to enter the mind. No matter how illumining our thoughts are, meditation aims to give us a consciousness far beyond the domain of the intellect and our reasoning mind. By definition, words will always fail to describe the inner experience of meditation. Meditation can never be grasped by the finite intellectual mind; meditation deals with consciousness and a state of being. To understand meditation, we have to practise and experience it for ourselves.

“When we meditate we expand, spreading our wings like a bird, trying to enter consciously into Infinity, Eternity and Immortality, welcoming them into our aspiring consciousness. We see, feel and grow into the entire universe of Light-Delight.

Sri Chinmoy [1]

Why Meditate?

If you feel a sense of dissatisfaction with your ordinary life, and if you wish to enjoy a real and meaningful inner peace, then meditation is the answer. Anybody can meditate, the only requirement is our inner aspiration to concentrate and dive deep within. Nobody can meditate for you, nor can anybody take away the fruits of your meditation. Through meditation we can develop a lasting inner peace and happiness that does not depend on the outer world. Whatever other people do or say, we shall be able to retain a detachment and equanimity from the turmoil’s of life.

How to Meditate.

In the beginning we need to find a suitable quiet environment where we can be undisturbed. If possible, find a quiet corner of a room to dedicate to your meditation. If you decorate the area with flowers and candles, it will add to your inspiration and help to create a meditative vibration. If possible, it is advisable to have a shower and wear clean and light clothes. Also, we should not meditate after eating a heavy meal, because the body will be lethargic from digesting the food.

The first thing we have to do is to sit still, if we cannot keep our body still, we have no hope of keeping our thoughts still. To meditate we should keep a straight spine; we can either sit on the floor or if we prefer meditate in a chair. It is important to find a comfortable position which we can maintain. The next stages is to relax the body. We need to relieve our body of stress and tension. We can do this through practising a very simple breathing exercise. In this exercise, we need to just be conscious of our breathing; our breathing should also be gentle and relaxed. If someone placed a feather in front of our nose, the feather would barely move.

By simply focusing on our breathing we relax the body and also slow down the thought process of the mind.

Concentration and Meditation

The next stage to master is concentration. In meditation, concentration is different to an academic style of concentration. We are not just using the focus of the mind. What we are doing is becoming aware of only one object at a time. This is the real secret of meditation; if we can develop a one-pointed focus and not get distracted by random thoughts or ideas we will be able to make real progress in our meditation.

To develop concentration, you can try focusing on one object. For example, you can put your focus on the tip of a candle flame. The smaller the object the better.

When you have developed the ability to concentrate on only one thing at a time, you can enter the next stage which is silent meditation. With a sense of concentration we repeatedly let go of any thoughts which come into our mind. Eventually we are able to achieve an inner silence. This silence should not be confused with a blank negation. What actually happens is that when we have attained inner silence we feel the dawning of a new consciousness. Unconstrained by the critical and finite nature of the mind, we are able to identify with a boundless consciousness within our own inner self.

[1] Prayer and Meditation. Excerpt from Prayer-World, Mantra-World And Japa-World by Sri Chinmoy.

Meditation – Next Steps

Photo by Unmesh Swanson, Sri Chinmoy Centre galleries

8 Ways to Deal with Worries

You woke up an hour late, just when you have that important business meeting this morning. In the bathroom you discover that you’ve run out of toothpaste and your only clean shirt has a bad crease in it running right through the middle. You burn the toast, drop the sugar container and burn your tongue on the boiling hot coffee. All your alarm bells are ringing and anxiety rushes through your veins like a mad, unstoppable current. With all the ingredients for a disastrous recipe at hand, how to stay cool in the midst of an erupting volcano of worries and anxieties? Here are eight tips.

1. Use common sense.

Ask yourself just one question: is worry going to help you even one bit in sorting out the chaos you’ve just landed into? No. An unmistakable no. On the contrary, worrying about the situation will only make things worse. And you thought it couldn’t possible get worse? Wrong again. So don’t worry. Be happy.

2. Take a few deep breaths.

When anxiety hits you your breathing becomes shallow, irregular and restless. You’ll be amazed how breathing in deeply, fully and calmly will restore your peace of mind. It may come as no surprise that during our deep sleep our breathing is always deep and completely relaxed. Practise belly-breathing as often as possible, also during stress-free hours.

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3. Better stay away from that cup of coffee!

Too much caffeine overstimulates the nerves, making you more susceptible to anxiety. Green and black tea also contains caffeine. Go for a tasty fruit juice or herbal tea instead. Your nervous system will be grateful.

4. Think of the ocean.

Strange as this piece of advice may sound, when you think of something vast and limitless, like a vast body of water, your mind becomes relaxed and peaceful. Anxiety traps your mind in a tiny little room and binds it there. That’s why you feel like you’re suffocating. Free your mind again. Make it wide, broad and vast. Like Mark Twain said, “Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”

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