About tejvan

Author Archive | tejvan

The importance of happiness

be-happy-you-will-get-what-you-like

“Be happy
You will get what you like most. You will be what you like best.”

- Sri Chinmoy [1]

This is an extract from a poem by Sri Chinmoy on happiness. This particular line struck me as being quite revealing and informative.

Usually, with human nature, when we don’t get what we want, we feel unhappy. Then when we are unhappy, often – consciously or unconsciously – we make others unhappy. But, when we create this unhappiness vibration, it becomes hard to get what we want and it becomes impossible to be the person we want to be.

We need to break the cycle. We need to let go of our unhappiness and instead choose a very different approach. It is this approach of choosing happiness, which will help us to be the person we want to be. When we can create this good feeling, people are attracted to help and co-operate. It is this positive energy and infectious happiness, which will enable us to get want we want out of life.

Be happy, you will get what you like most‘ – An interesting thing is that Sri Chinmoy says that if we are happy, we will get what we like most. On the first reading, I thought, it read ‘Be happy, you will get what you want‘. But, of course, there is a considerable difference between getting what we think we want, and getting what gives us joy.

For example, we may have a great desire for people to act and behave in a certain way. When they disappoint us, we feel miserable because they are making our lives difficult. We don’t get what we want, and we are unhappy because we feel others are making our life unpleasant. However, a different approach is to be detached about expecting how other people behave. Rather than vainly hoping others will be the person we want them to be, we should concentrate on being happy with the situation we are in. With this changed happiness, we get the opportunity to be happy. Rather than being miserable because outer circumstances are not to our expectation, we are happy.

It is this cheerful happiness which means we get what we like most. The goal is not the outer circumstances, the goal is our happiness. If we can cultivate happiness, we will get what we like.  What is the point in chasing false unrealistic goals if we don’t get happiness along the way?
Continue Reading →

Comments { 0 }

Benefits of writing

I see writing as a personal sadhana (spiritual discipline). It is creative, challenging, rewarding and requires considerable discipline. Through writing, you can help to clarify good ideas and also you can give yourself an added motivation and enthusiasm. Writing for an audience, even if very small, requires a degree of effort and willingness to be ready for both criticism and praise. The benefit of writing for an audience is that we need to consider what is good for other people; it forces us to lose an insular attitude, and this is beneficial for making us more aware of other people, it can help to make us a little less self-focused.

bodleian

There are sometimes when writing comes easy, but there are many more times, when you need to work considerably hard to get started and have a go. But, it always feels a worthwhile endeavour.

Benefits of writing

It brings another aspect to a subject that you have a great passion for. I only write about subjects that interest me, cycling, spirituality, economics. They are all very different, but writing about it is a unique way to understand the subject in a different light.

Writing about spirituality is particularly beneficial. I’ve often said, it’s easier to write about how we should behave, than to actually live it. But, when writing about topics of self-improvement, it gives a very strong sense of reinforcement and motivation to try and live by the principles you write about. When teaching economics, I always tell my students 90% of learning is in teaching. This may sound confusing, but you don’t learn by just passively listening. You really learn when you try to explain what you’ve read about. This is why writing is so powerful. When we write we really need to improve our grasp of our particular philosophy. By the end, our conscious awareness and understanding is much stronger. By writing, we make the subject very real. This is why writing can help in a spiritual path, writing creates a much stronger clarity and understanding of the essential philosophy.

Writing gives us an opportunity for self-development. Sometimes when I see my own writing, I shrink away from it, almost embarrassed. When we write we put a part of ourselves out into the world. Writing becomes an opportunity to overcome any pride and insecurity. Writing is a challenge to write and offer something in a detached way.

A little benefit to other people. When I write, I do it out of a personal motivation. I never expect to change or influence anyone else. But, if it can give a little joy inspiration to other people, then it is an added bonus.

It is a creative use of time. In the internet age, there are so many distractions and ways to pass away time that it is easy to become a couch potato, or internet surfer. Writing invokes the creative part of the brain, and gives a sense of achievement that is very rewarding.

Continue Reading →

Comments { 1 }

Effective Ways To Get Out of a Negative Mindset

negativitiy-poem

It is too easy to get into a negative mindset which invariably leads to unhappiness and depression. To avoid being overwhelmed by negativity we need to make a conscious effort to avoid the experience. When life seems like a perpetual dark tunnel these are some suggestions to change your outlook on life.

Don’t Cherish Destructive Thoughts.

Often we don’t realise how much we subconsciously cherish negative thoughts. It may seem counter intuitive, but often a negative frame of mind occurs because we won’t let go of the negative thoughts and ideas. Sometimes the mind clings on to these thoughts with a feeling of self pity or injured pride. We don’t like the negative frame of mind, but at the same time are we consciously trying to overcome it? The problem is that if the negative thoughts go round and round in our mind they can become powerful and we lose a sense of perspective. Just make a conscious decision to ignore the negative flow of thoughts and sentiments and be persistent in these attempts.

Do You want to be Happy or Miserable?

Do you want to be always happy?
Then give up fighting
For negativity
And learn the beautiful art
Of self-encouragement.

Sri Chinmoy [1]

We should feel a negative mindset is a choice. If we feel a victim to our own emotions and thoughts, nobody else will be able to help us. We should feel that by holding on to a negative frame of mind, we are inevitably choosing to be unhappy; each negative is a conscious decision to be miserable. If we really value the importance of our own inner peace and happiness, we will aspire to cultivate this through good, uplifting thoughts. Next time you feel the onset of a depressed state of mind, just ask yourself the question: Do I want to be happy or Miserable?

Spend Time With Positive People

The best antidote to negativity is simply to spend time doing positive, uplifting activities. Sometimes if we analyse and examine our own negativity it does nothing to reduce it. By engaging in useful fun activities, we forget about the reasons for our negativity; this is often the most powerful way to overcome a depressed state of mind.

Continue Reading →

Comments { 74 }

How to Do the Right Thing

How can we learn to do the right thing? Quite often we know what the right thing is to do, but some force of habit holds us back. Perhaps we know what the right thing is, but we fear what people may say or we worry that it will be misunderstood. Other times, it is our own pride or insecurity which prevents us from doing the right thing.  If we need more motivation and strength to do the right thing, there are a few things we can bear in mind.

river

Joy from doing the right thing

The most effective way to do the right thing is to bear in mind the joy we can get from doing the right thing. If we don’t follow our heart, there will always be some mental tension, some feeling of looking over our shoulder. But, if we do the right thing, we will get that precious joy that we are following the right road and being true to ourselves. As the immortal Shakespeare writes:

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!

- Hamlet, Act 1

This captures the poetic beauty of living true to ourselves. Even if temporarily difficult, this inner peace from our decision is very valuable. Bear in mind, that the inner peace and inner joy is the most valuable thing on earth, it is not something that can be bought.

Continue Reading →

Comments { 0 }

Irrational Thinking and How To Overcome it

sun

One of the biggest problems we have is the tendency for our mind to think in an irrational / unbalanced way. We see issues and other people through a clouded and fuzzy perspective. This judgement leads us to many problems, not least it makes life more stressful and depressing.

These are some of the common perspectives on life which are misleading.

Jumping to Conclusions

Often we jump to conclusions on a small fraction of evidence. Perhaps someone does not reply to our message at a particular point in time, we then project our own thoughts as to why this is. The mind creates a powerful scenario which we come to believe. Yet, our mental projections are often far from reality. To make things worse we often jump to conclusions in a negative way. The mind is suspicious of others’ intentions and we definitely create problems for ourselves by doubting our friends and relatives. We have to be very wary of jumping to conclusions; at the very least we should remind ourself our conclusion is likely to be wrong.

It may be unfortunate to be mistreated by others, but, it is much worse to have a suspicious mind

Black and White Thinking

We often come to see the world in black and white terms – either we are a total success or failure. Other people are either friends or enemies. The problem is that one small mistake can make us feel a total failure. For example, we say one wrong thing so then assume we have messed up a relationship with someone. On the other hand a small success can bloat us with pride. Life is never so clear cut; we have to avoid both the depths of despair and heights of vainglory. Rather than seeing ourselves as a total failure just see mistakes as stepping stones on the path to self-development.

Blaming other People for own Faults.

Often we sit in judgement on other people, but, if we were honest we would realise many of their faults we too share. We are not judging out of compassion but out of a sense of self-importance. The worst thing is when we do something wrong but seek to pass the blame onto other people – If  only other people had done the right thing we would been fine. This is just our clever mind justify its wrong actions. But, with this attitude we will just continue doing the wrong thing and create more problems. We have to be honest with ourselves.

“We are our own fate-makers. To blame others for the unfavourable conditions of our lives is beneath our dignity. Unfortunately, this act of blaming others is one of man’s oldest diseases.”

- Sri Chinmoy [1]

Continue Reading →

Comments { 8 }

Tips for Dealing with Money

It is said that the love of money is the root of all evil, but money is also an inescapable reality of life. Money can definitely create tension, worry, and put even the best friendships under strain. But, money is essential component of life, and if used properly it can be a force for good and contribute towards our happiness.
happiness

How can we learn to have a good attitude to money?

  • Money is a means to an end. It can be used for good purposes or it can be put to bad purposes. In this sense money is neutral – it is up to us to use it in a divine way and not misuse it.
  • If money is used in an appropriate way, it can contribute to our happiness. However, the unbridled pursuit of money will definitely cause us lose sight of the most valuable aspects of life – such as, cultivating inner peace and good relationships with others.
  • If we sacrifice our principles and sense of value, what is the use of money? We have to remember what gives us a true sense of happiness. The real happiness comes from being true to our self, to be self-giving and offer happiness to others. If we have to betray these ideals to gain money, then at best the money will buy us a false happiness.
  • Don’t worry! Money is probably the biggest cause of worry in modern life. Often it is the richest people who worry the most. The more we gain, the more we stand to lose. Learn to let go of worry – worry doesn’t help in anyway only makes us more tense. If you have real difficulties, just see what practical steps you can take. If you have a reasonably good financial situation, just enjoy it! Continue Reading →
Comments { 0 }

7 Effective ways for dealing with difficult people

difficult people

Life will always present us with awkward, difficult people; and unless you want to live in a Himalayan cave you will have to learn how to deal with these people. We should not let difficult people spoil our inner equanimity; with the right attitude we can maintain our peace of mind even when dealing with unpleasant people. These are some suggestions for dealing with awkward people.

1. Don’t Think about Them All the Time

Sometimes when people cause us difficulties they start to dominate our thoughts; this makes their presence seem very close. However, it is best to think about them as little as possible. Instead, concentrate on things and people who inspire you. Thinking about difficult people is not going to change how they behave, but it will cause us unhappiness.

2. Don’t Expect to Change Them.

Awkward and unpleasant people are the least likely to be willing to change themselves. Don’t take it upon yourself to try and change their behaviour; you will all most certainly fail. Furthermore, they will probably resent your interference and this will create further difficulties. Instead we can maintain a cheerful detachment. If we don’t have any expectations, it becomes much easier to deal with.

3. Don’t feel guilt

If people create problems in our life we can start to feel guilty, even though we have done nothing wrong. In cases like this
we have to be detached; it is not our fault problems are created. As long as we seek to maintain a good attitude, that is all that matters.

If you want to transform your life
Radically,
Then immediately give up
Your false sense of teeming guilt.

Sri Chinmoy [1]

Continue Reading →

Comments { 30 }

Overcoming a Phobia

It’s sometimes easy to write about what we should do – e.g. overcome worries with detachment and positive visualisations e.t.c. But,  when things actually happen to you, it’s much more difficult to put the theory into practise! I don’t have many phobias, or irrational fears, but recently I came up against my own worst phobia.

I was going on holiday to New York (as much a spiritual retreat as holiday). I came off my bike on the day of the flight – a nasty accident. But, I made it to NY fine. Three days later the leg started to get much worse. That was strange, I couldn’t work out what was going on. I had to spend the next 3 days in a chair or on my back. The dynamism of New York came to an abrupt halt for me!

In a way, I actually quite enjoyed it. I could look through some poetry websites I hadn’t been able to touch for months. I was grateful to have other things to be able to do.

Being confined to a chair was not as bad as I might have feared. I actually quite liked the extra time – a rare luxury. Of course, I would have preferred to have a good leg, but at least I felt grateful for finding alternative things to do.

Continue Reading →

Comments { 6 }

How To Overcome Worry

Some tips on how to overcome worry.

Let us not worry
About the future.
Let us only do the right thing
Today,
At this moment,
Here and Now.
Let the future take care of
Itself.

- Sri Chinmoy [1]

When we worry about an event that may not occur, we waste precious energy and time. There is a philosophy that if we worry about something it is actually more likely to happen; we attract the negative event through our negative thoughts. Worry never helps, but leaves us without peace of mind. It is good to be able to overcome unnecessary worry. These are a few steps which will help.

Concentrate on the Present Time.

Worry means we are advancing into the future and speculating that the worst might happen. Worrying about future is not helpful. Just concentrate on the present moment and the task in hand. So many religious text tell us to ‘…Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.’

This is from the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam.

Literal:

O friend, for the morrow let us not worry
This moment we have now, let us not hurry
When our time comes, we shall not tarry
With seven thousand-year-olds, our burden carry.

Meaning:

O hark, let us not think of the morrow
Cherish this moment, far from sorrow
Life is a temporal gift that we borrow
Whether dead for ages, or leave tomorrow.

Keep life in perspective. Why worry about small things?

Do what you can then leave.

If we have worries and concerns, make a conscious effort to see what can be done to mitigate that. If we are worried about a future meeting, it may be necessary to do an hour’s preparation. Once we’ve done the necessary preparation, we can say to ourselves, we’ve done everything we can, so we have no need to worry. This is a very practical solution. We do what we can to mitigate worries, then leave it. Often we will find that there are some things we worry about, where actually there is nothing that we can or need to do. These worries are just self-created. But, when we see we’ve done what we need to, then we can just leave it.

Continue Reading →

Comments { 5 }

Inspirational Ideas

Some inspirational ideas and quotes from the great Seer Poets can become like mantras. They invoke and explain powerful ideas with a poetic flow that touches the soul. These are a few quotes and ideas that have frequently inspired me. If you have any to share, kindly leave in comments.

Humility

shakespeare-all-worlds-stage
This famous monologue from Shakespeare’s ‘As You Like it’ eludes to the importance of humility. We may be proud of our current situation, but we can never take our fate for granted. It also infers the underlying oneness of experience. ‘We play many parts’ reminds us that we can experience life from any perspective. It is a reminder of the golden rule to love thy neighbour as thyself. As a part we play today, maybe very different tomorrow. It also makes me think of Mother Teresa’s quote:

‘In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love.’

- Whatever our current ‘part’ maybe, the important thing is we do our part with love.

Love vs Power

(Photo: Unmesh)

The nature of the mind is to wish to exercise power. But, when we strive for power, peace disappears. If we replace the love of power, with the power of love, the world will be changed. It is our heart power that can bring peace and not the battle for supremacy.

 The Nature of Love

let me not admit

(photo: Phoolanjaya)

In human love there is often attachment and desire. We love, but there is a partial desire to benefit ourselves. The real divine love is unconditional. We love for love’s sake and are not influenced by outer circumstances. In real love, forgiveness comes spontaneously. There is no sense of sacrifice, only love.

The Nature of Self

i celebrate

Walt Whitman’s classic opening from ‘Song of Myself’ is a joyful reminder of our highest self – our real self. It is a reminder of the underlying oneness we have with creation. The Vedic Seers wrote many centuries ago that  our inner nature is delight. This is an inspiration for us to grow from the little ‘I’ (ego) to the bigger I

Beauty

It feel superfluous to add to this momentous line from John Keats. An invocation of beauty and joy.

 

Heaven on Earth

to see world(Photo: Phoolanjaya)

Another epic of English poetry. A reminder heaven is in the eye of the beholder. If we can be aware and grateful of nature, we can see miracles everyday.

Continue Reading →

Comments { 3 }