May 2013 – Happiness will follow you

Who do you want to be?

When I was young, I was often asked – what do you want to be when you grow up? The answer people were looking for was something along the lines of – stockbroker or management consultant.Â This is what we can grow up thinking life is all about – what can we become? how will we be perceived by society? Because of these subtle pressures, we can unconsciously start to define ourselves by the job we hold or our status in society.

But, imagine we could start with a clean sheet of paper and we had the opportunity to create the person we really want to be. What do we consider important? What qualities would we like to have? What aspects of ourselves would we want to transform?

This exercise is not about creating outer circumstances and outer status, it is about thinking about the person we want to be.

In the spiritual life, transformation is not easy. But, if we don’t have a clear idea of where we want to go, it is nearly impossible. If we can challenge ourselves to keep asking – what do we want to be? then we can at least have a clear idea of where we want to go.

Here is a simple exercise we can all do. Imagine that our thoughts had 100% power to manifest themselves. Suppose that whatever we wanted, we would get. If we wanted to be perfectly forgiving whatever other people did, we could become that. If we wanted to be happy whatever our outer circumstances, we could have that. For the moment, leave aside whether it’s feasible. Just feel anything is possible and imagine yourself as you really want to be. There are no limits, if you want to have a deep and abiding sense of peace all the time, why not choose that?

Factors that can help us in knowing what we want to be.

Appreciate good qualities in others. It is good to be inspired by the positive qualities of other people. This is not imitation. This is seeing good qualities and feeling that they can become part of ourself. If someone else can be resolutely cheerful, we can make this part of ourself. Continue reading “Who do you want to be?”

The importance of happiness

“Be happy
You will get what you like most. You will be what you like best.”

– Sri Chinmoy [1]

This is an extract from a poem by Sri Chinmoy on happiness. This particular line struck me as being quite revealing and informative.

Usually, with human nature, when we don’t get what we want, we feel unhappy. Then when we are unhappy, often – consciously or unconsciously – we make others unhappy. But, when we create this unhappiness vibration, it becomes hard to get what we want and it becomes impossible to be the person we want to be.

We need to break the cycle. We need to let go of our unhappiness and instead choose a very different approach. It is this approach of choosing happiness, which will help us to be the person we want to be. When we can create this good feeling, people are attracted to help and co-operate. It is this positive energy and infectious happiness, which will enable us to get want we want out of life.

‘Be happy, you will get what you like most‘ – An interesting thing is that Sri Chinmoy says that if we are happy, we will get what we like most. On the first reading, I thought, it read ‘Be happy, you will get what you want‘. But, of course, there is a considerable difference between getting what we think we want, and getting what gives us joy.

For example, we may have a great desire for people to act and behave in a certain way. When they disappoint us, we feel miserable because they are making our lives difficult. We don’t get what we want, and we are unhappy because we feel others are making our life unpleasant. However, a different approach is to be detached about expecting how other people behave. Rather than vainly hoping others will be the person we want them to be, we should concentrate on being happy with the situation we are in. With this changed happiness, we get the opportunity to be happy. Rather than being miserable because outer circumstances are not to our expectation, we are happy.

It is this cheerful happiness which means we get what we like most. The goal is not the outer circumstances, the goal is our happiness. If we can cultivate happiness, we will get what we like.Â What is the point in chasing false unrealistic goals if we don’t get happiness along the way?
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Benefits of writing

I see writing as a personal sadhana (spiritual discipline). It is creative, challenging, rewarding and requires considerable discipline. Through writing, you can help to clarify good ideas and also you can give yourself an added motivation and enthusiasm. Writing for an audience, even if very small, requires a degree of effort and willingness to be ready for both criticism and praise. The benefit of writing for an audience is that we need to consider what is good for other people; it forces us to lose an insular attitude, and this is beneficial for making us more aware of other people, it can help to make us a little less self-focused.

There are sometimes when writing comes easy, but there are many more times, when you need to work considerably hard to get started and have a go. But, it always feels a worthwhile endeavour.

Benefits of writing

It brings another aspect to a subject that you have a great passion for. I only write about subjects that interest me, cycling, spirituality, economics. They are all very different, but writing about it is a unique way to understand the subject in a different light.

Writing about spirituality is particularly beneficial. I’ve often said, it’s easier to write about how we should behave, than to actually live it. But, when writing about topics of self-improvement, it gives a very strong sense of reinforcement and motivation to try and live by the principles you write about. When teaching economics, I always tell my students 90% of learning is in teaching. This may sound confusing, but you don’t learn by just passively listening. You really learn when you try to explain what you’ve read about. This is why writing is so powerful. When we write we really need to improve our grasp of our particular philosophy. By the end, our conscious awareness and understanding is much stronger. By writing, we make the subject very real. This is why writing can help in a spiritual path, writing creates a much stronger clarity and understanding of the essential philosophy.

Writing gives us an opportunity for self-development. Sometimes when I see my own writing, I shrink away from it, almost embarrassed. When we write we put a part of ourselves out into the world. Writing becomes an opportunity to overcome any pride and insecurity. Writing is a challenge to write and offer something in a detached way.

A little benefit to other people. When I write, I do it out of a personal motivation. I never expect to change or influence anyone else. But, if it can give a little joy inspiration to other people, then it is an added bonus.

It is a creative use of time. In the internet age, there are so many distractions and ways to pass away time that it is easy to become a couch potato, or internet surfer. Writing invokes the creative part of the brain, and gives a sense of achievement that is very rewarding.

Continue reading “Benefits of writing”