Quite often we feel that we are victim to external events. It seems like life is predestined and, no matter what we do, similar problems keep appearing to create suffering and pain. Yet, the secret to life is not avoiding these problems, but in how we view these problems. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said:
“People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.”
Therefore, rather than seeking to change the world we should seek to change ourselves and the perspective we have towards the world. You will also find that changing yourself is the most effective way of having a positive effect on other people around you.
These are some suggestions for enabling a new perspective on life.
1. Don’t be quick to judge others.
The human mind finds it easy to find faults in others, yet we are much less quick to judge ourselves. When we judge others, often we have a subconscious feeling of superiority. By pointing out the errors and misdeeds of others, it makes us feel better. Yet, it is a great irony that when we judge other people, these faults are actually part of ourselves as well. However, the important thing is that when we judge others we gain no real happiness. In fact what we are doing is giving greater importance to the negative quality of others. If we are not careful, by judging others we lower our own consciousness. Be tolerant of others bad qualities; ultimately, you are not responsible for the thoughts and actions of your friends
2. Look for people’s good Qualities.
If friends or families are causing irritation, then we can try to focus on some of their good qualities. When we appreciate their good qualities they will really appreciate our concern and good nature. Surprisingly, we may find that by strengthening their good qualities, their bad qualities diminish without even mentioning them. As a second benefit, when we recognise the good qualities of others, they will be inspired to reciprocate our kind words. This does not mean we should flatter others in the hope of receiving praise back. However, the nature of kindness is to spread.
The very nature of kindness
Is to spread.
If you are kind to others,
Today they will be kind to you,
And tomorrow to somebody else.
– Sri Chinmoy