Commentary

The story offers a great lesson that if we want to change someone else’s nature we could try to lead by example and bring only their good qualities forward. If we get angry, upset or even judgemental, we can harden the attitude of other people. But, if we act like a saint, we can bring the heart of the other person forward.

Oscar Wilde once said:

“Forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.”

But, if our forgiveness is out of real sense of oneness, if our forgiveness is motivated by a sense to bring the best nature of our enemy forward, it is an opportunity for them to break a cycle of bad behaviour. Our enemies become grateful to our magnaminity. Abraham Lincoln offered this illumining thought:

“Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?”

In this case, the saint destroyed the cycle of anger and judgement. In its place, he gave the drunk the opportunity to bring his better nature to the fore. In this case, we see that real forgiveness brought illumination. Sri Chinmoy offers two significant poems on this theme.

Related

• How to cultivate love
• Judgemental people
• The Art of Forgiveness

Notes

[1.Sri Chinmoy, Seventy-Seven Thousand Service-Trees, Part 34, Agni Press, 2003]

[2. Sri Chinmoy Seventy-Seven Thousand Service-Trees, Part 23, Agni Press, 2001]

Photo: Menaka, Sri Chinmoy Centre galleries

There was a spiritual Master visiting a village. He spoke to the assembled crowds on living a spiritual life. Many were moved by his words on love and forgiveness. However, at the end of the meeting a young child came up to the Master and tearfully asked him if he would come to visit his house and touch the heart of his father.

The young child told how his father was making life miserable for his wife and children through his uncontrollable drinking. When his father wasn’t drinking he was a very kind and loving father. But, when he was drunk he made life unbearable for all around.

The Master took the child by the hand and visited the wretched home. He spoke kindly to his mother and her children and then he saw the father lying wretchedly  upon a bed of straw. He took the man by his hand and with great kindness said:

“Your neighbours on the other side of the town are in sore distress. Their house has been gutted by fire. Will you come and aid me in rebuilding their shattered lives?”

The father shrugged off his headache and feeling of worthlessness and nervously followed the Master to the other side of town. There they found a family facing great hardship due to their loss. Without saying any words, the Master and father began re-building the house. After a short while, the drunkard threw himself into the project forgetting his own addictions. After a while the Master thanked the alcoholic for his efforts, but, now he had to leave to travel to another town – could he leave him in charge? The father readily agreed and over the next weeks organised the complete rebuilding of the house.

In the process, the father gave up drinking completely. Nobody had even mentioned  drink, but, he had gained a renewed sense of purpose and responsibility. He remained grateful for the opportunity to serve others and overcome his addiction.

Commentary

By lecturing people do we ever change their nature? It is easy to judge others, but how can we encourage people to overcome their weaknesses? It would be tempting to scold an alcoholic for neglecting his family. But, here the Master tried a different approach. He sought to rebuild his sense of self-worth and sense of responsibility. Often addictions are symptoms of inner insecurites and we need to deal with these rather than the outer manifestations of them.

By gaining a sense of service to others we can most easily overcome our personal problems.

It also reminds me of the story of Sri Ramakrishna and his disciple Girish Chandra Ghose. Sri Ramakrishna was a very strict Spiritual Master who expected the highest standards. But, in the case of Girish Chandra Ghose, he never said anything when Girish  turned up with a wine bottle in his hand. Sri Ramakrishna knew in this particular case, he need not say anything, but, overtime by appealing to the good heart of Girish Chandra Ghose, he would eventually make the necessary change in habit himself. This Girish did, becoming a devotee of the highest order.

(Drink, Drink In Front of Me at Sri Chinmoy Library

Photo by: Pavitrata, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

Yudhishthira’s Worst Enemy

After the battle of Kurukshetra was over, one day Yudhishthira said to Krishna, “Krishna, we Pandavas have won. Needless to say, it is all your Grace. Otherwise, we could never have won. But you know, Krishna, in spite of our victory, something is bothering me. Do you know what it is? I have no peace of mind. Now that we have defeated the Kauravas, we are supposed to be very happy. But how can I be happy when I have no peace of mind? Why is this so? Why is it that I cannot be happy and peaceful?”

Krishna said, “Yudhishthira, O King, how can you be happy when your worst enemy is still alive?”

“My worst enemy is still alive!” Yudhishthira exclaimed. “Who is he? How is it that I do not know anything about him? Please tell me, Krishna, where my worst enemy is.”

Krishna said, “Your worst enemy is not elsewhere. It is inside you. You have been feeding and nurturing that worst enemy for a long, long time. Unless and until you have conquered that enemy, no matter what you achieve, no matter what you do for yourself or for mankind, you can never have happiness.”

“O Krishna, for God’s sake, tell me who my worst enemy is! Stop your philosophy and now illumine me!”

Krishna, with a loving heart and a smiling face, embraced Yudhishthira and said, “O Yudhishthira, you are by far the best not only among the Pandavas, but among all mortals, all human beings. Yet one enemy of yours, which is nothing short of weakness, is most destructive. And that weakness-enemy of yours is your unfortunate pride. Conquer the iota of pride that you have. Then happiness will flow into your mind, and peace will smilingly settle down inside the very depths of your heart.”

Yudhishthira said, “Your wisdom-blessing is my mind’s happiness and my heart’s peace, Krishna, my Krishna.”

– By Sri Chinmoy

Related

• Humility
• What creates conflict?

“Nothing is Worth More than this day

– J.Goethe

A rich man was very attached to his wealth and money. A sufi saint approached him and asked him this question.

“If you were dying of thirst in the desert, would you give half of your wealth for a glass of water?”

The rich man replied “Yes.”

The Saint then asked the rich man, “if you were in agony because you could not pass this water, would you spend half of your wealth to be able to pass the water?”

The rich man replied “yes”

So the Sufi saint said, “Why do you attach so much importance to your wealth when you would give up your entire kingdom and material possessions for a glass of water you don’t even get to keep?”

Analysis

Material wealth is neither good nor bad. What is important is how it is used and our attitude towards it.

A knife can be used to stab someone or cut an apple in half to share. Similarly, money can be used to improve our material wellbeing; but  it can also destroy a person.

If the accumulation of wealth is our highest priority we will be seeking happiness in ephemeral way; we will be doomed to disappointment. Furthermore, when we become possesed with the desire to accumulate wealth, we invariably become mean, selfish and self-absorbed. In this story the sufi saint reminds us of the transitory nature of the world. No matter how much wealth we accumulate in this life, we can not take it with us – nor does wealth help us to understand the deeper meaning of life.

Posts related to Wealth and happiness

• The Source of Happiness
• The Power of Simplicity

There was a very rich man, who was also very miserly. His only joy was in the accumulation of money. Somehow, he had managed to marry a beautiful wife, who was also very generous and kind hearted. As you might expect the miser was deeply unpopular, but, everyone liked and admired his self giving wife. However, she thought. “Since, he is my husband and no one else likes him, what can I do? I, at least, must be kind to him and offer him my support. Despite, receiving no praise from her miserly husband, she served him night and day.

Then a famine struck the region. The miser gave nothing. But, his wife tirelessly travelled the region offering help and lending people money to buy rice. The people who borrowed money wanted to pay back the wife; but, she refused saying.

“It’s fine, I don’t need the money. Please keep it.”

But, the people refused saying ‘no we really want to give it back, when we can.’

So she said something quite surprising. “If you really want to repay me, then give me the money the day my husband dies.”

People were quite surprised at this statement and one of her sons happened to overhear her. He was perturbed by his Mother’s strange statement and so went to his father to report what he had heard.

The father could not believe it. Why was his dear wife asking the money to be repaid only when he passed away? Thus the miser challenged his wife, asking why she had asked the money to be returned on his death.

She said, “You don’t understand. You see, people don’t like you. They hate you. Everybody wants you to die today, but many people have taken lots of money from me, and by nature people don’t want to pay it back. From now on, instead of thinking of your death, they will pray to God to keep you alive so that they don’t have to pay it back. I want you to live for many, many years. Who knows? One day you may also become very affectionate, kindhearted and sympathetic.
“I played a trick. I want them to pray to God every day that you live. This will make me happy. Who cares for the money? I want you to live for a very long time.” The husband was extremely touched by his wife’s wisdom and love for him and he vowed to be more compassionate toward others.

What Can We Learn from This Story?

It is easy to like kind, generous and self giving people. But, it is not so easy to like and be kind to a miser. But, the wife’s devotion, love and selflessness slowly started to make an impression on her husband. Even her miserly husband felt obliged to lead a better life. This shows that if we really wish to change people, it is through constant self giving and not constant criticism.

Inspiration for this story – She Lends Money with Wisdom by Sri Chinmoy

Photo Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries