But, the British reserve rarely says anything. Instead we complain in silence and then don’t go back or just put up with it. Also, there is no point in saying anything, unless there is some receptivity to hearing suggestions. Also, advice is easy to give, but it is much more important to deal with our own problems first!

Recently, I’ve been watching a series on television about failing businesses who ask a business consultant to come in and offer advice on how to turn the business around. It is an interesting insight into human behaviour!

One episode focused on a clothes shop which was losing money and was stuck in the past. The owner was passionate about clothes, but didn’t have much business sense and a mixed consumer service, which was good in parts, but also involved insulting consumers.

The business consultant suggested many changes which would help revitalise the business and reposition it in the market.

Some notes

There is an inevitable resistance to change when we have been used to doing something in our own way for a long time.

Step by step approach. After suggesting several changes, the consultant realised it was too much. The business owner didn’t want to change the name of the shop. Although, he could see some of the benefits of changing, there was still an attachment to the previous ways of working. The consultant saw this and cut back her suggestions. Rather than make complete change, she suggested business owner make the changes he felt comfortable with. The owner had to be happy with the change they implemented.

Accentuating the positive strengths. The suggestions of change were met with resistance and uncertainty about moving out of their comfort zone. Rather than keep hitting on about the need to change, the consultant set up a day, where they would be able to show their skills of retailing in a different environment. By allowing their strong customer skills to come to the fore, the owner gained more confidence in the process of change, and how these skills could be at the centre of the business. Always we need a mixture of stick and carrot. Not just the stick!

Moving out of our comfort zone. From an outside perspective the changes seemed very rational, common sense and you could see the business sense. Yet, for the owner, it was very challenging to move beyond his comfort zone. There was a mixed feeling. Some positivity at seeing the improvements in the store, but also the difficulty of letting go of previous modes of working. We all have an attachment / pride to our existing way of being / working.

Ingratitude. The interesting thing is the relationship between the owner and the consultant. The owner both appreciated the advice and the revitalised business, but at the same time partly resented her presence and influence. In a good moment, he was grateful, but in other moments, he expressed frustration and negative feelings. It felt very much like the rebellious teenager who is helped to overcome a difficult situation by parents, but at the same time the pride of the teenager doesn’t find it easy to be grateful for the parental concern.

Lessons from this

Tough Love

Sometimes, people want us to tell them how good their way of living / working is. This is fine, but if we offer false flattery, the business will fail / the person will keep making mistakes. If we really care about someone, then we may need to challenge that person to try different modes of working and approach to life. This is difficult because when we push someone’s boundaries and move them out of their comfort zone there is much resistance.

If we ask for help, we have to have some humility.

If a business owner doesn’t ask for our help, we have no right to tell them what to do. But, if we become aware of a problem and realise a business is set to fail, we may ask for help. But, if we ask for help, we can’t expect to be told we are doing everything right. If we want to seek help, we also have to be willing to embrace some form of change. It makes no sense to be aware our way isn’t working, but when someone suggests a different path – we reject it and stick with our old way.

Only the person themselves can make the change. A  consultant can offer a path of how to progress, but ultimately, unless the person themselves sees the wisdom and embraces the different path, it won’t work.

A good teacher may set a high goal of complete change, but also he has to be adaptable. If full change can’t be managed, he will begin with encouraging small, step by step change.

It takes courage to admit things aren’t working out and seek help. Many businesses may be making mistakes, but the owner is never willing to seek help / look for another way of doing things – and then they go out of business. If things are going wrong, it takes a certain moral courage and willingness to seek help. This is not a sign of weakness, but strength.

Spiritual Master and disciple

This example was from the world of commerce. There was a business owner and business consultant. But, I see many parallels between that of disciple and spiritual Master. Seekers seek a spiritual Master because they feel there is no satisfaction in their lives and they  hope there is a better way of living. The spiritual Master can lovingly encourage the seeker to make changes which will result in more happiness.

However, often our initial enthusiasm for change diminishes and we see the Master’s suggestions – not as tough love, but we struggle to move out of our comfort zone and accept the challenges to our own limited self. The secret of the spiritual life is to remain willing to make gradual changes; to have the humility that there may be a better way of doing things and always be willing to change.

Related

• Practical ways to change your life

Thomas Jefferson wrote

“The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.”

Jefferson also illumines us:

“I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it.”

How we would like the happiness of Thomas Jefferson!

Why I wanted to try take a break from the news

1. Negativity

The problem with the news is that it is mostly depressing, and accentuates the most negative image of the world and people. It can create a disconnect between perception and the reality of people’s good hearts.

The nature of the news is that it tends to focus on bad events. You can have 10,000 people leading good lives; but by nature this is not newsworthy.

2. I spend too long

The truth is I spend too long watching news, reading news online. It is too easy to fill a few minutes here and there. I can find myself checking news sites throughout the day. But, it’s not a profitable or useful experience. It’s bugged me for a long time, so I thought I would try something different over the Christmas holidays.

3. It affects me

The problem with being absorbed in a 24 news stream, is that you can end up thinking about it all day. Your mind cultivates opinions, and you can end up frustrated with the injustice of the world. Yet, at the same time, you are not doing anything to create a better world. You can’t help it, but the more time you spend on the news, the more your mind is jumping around with opinions of its own. It is an energy that is self-perpetuating. There is no peace, no connection with the heart, only opinions and endless un-winnable arguments.

4. Peace

There is an oft repeated quote:

“Be the change, you wish to be.” – M. Gandhi.

It is of-repeated because it is intuitively true. Spending hours reading the news does not make me the person I wish to be. After the news, I don’t have any inner peace or inner joy to offer anyone. I’m just fighting against negativity myself. We only deceive ourselves if we think spending time on reading the news is making us a better person and the world a better place.

“The greatest misfortune that can come to a human being is to lose his inner peace. No outer force can rob him of it. It is his own thoughts, his own actions, that rob him of it.”

– Sri Chinmoy

What I really want is the peace of meditation,  and to hold on to this peace, I need to spend less time in things which suck it out of me.

5. Do something better

My hope is that if I cut down the time I waste on surfing the internet, I will do something more productive / more peaceful / more rewarding.

I think our growing attachment to the internet (be it news or chat) is that we have become fearful of spending five minutes in silence, five minutes with ourself. Instead we always seek to throw ourselves into the never ending churn of events beyond our control.

A zen proverb suggests that if we fill a glass with dirty water, there is no room for any clean water. To fill a jug with nectar we have to empty it first.

6. The all-pervading news

There was a time when you would get a newspaper in the morning, and that was it. Once a day, you had the newspaper, and you made of it what you will. It was then 24 hours to the next newspaper for sale. But, the advent of 24 hour tv news channels and internet news, has made rolling news and opinion a constant presence, a constant temptation to tug on our mind. It is an assault on the senses – a reality hiding in full view, but it didn’t always use to be like this. Everything is now just one click away. I resent the intrusion, or perhaps I resent my lack of will.

24 Hour news fast

I wanted to see if it is possible to spend 24 hours without reading or watching the news. How easy is it? What is the effect?

• First thing in the morning, post-meditation, I resist the temptation to start the day with reading newspaper which lands through my parents door.
• As I turn on the computer, I turn off the wireless connection, to finish off some writing.
• Now with some little trepidation, I turn on wireless and go to a website where I work. I realise it has become such an ingrained habit to check certain newspapers for articles to read.
• I weaken, and glance through the sports section of the newspapers. Football results don’t count as proper news, they are er… educational. I won’t read any of the sports opinion pieces, though. – Manchester United out of the European Cup. Manchester City are through. That’s fine with me.
• Next I’m taking the train, free papers at the station, free papers on the seats. You can’t avoid the headlines. “Hate Speech” are the two words of the day I will have imprinted on my consciousness. Almost helplessly, I formulate a mental response – why can’t we live in a world without hate? – is it a prayer or another human opinion? Perhaps it is a bit of both.
• The person in the next seat is reading a newspaper on their tablet, I can’t avoid briefly seeing. I don’t want to be nosy at all, but still it acts as a little temptation. I busy myself with off-line work on my computer.
• Walking through Leeds city centre, more free papers being handed out. News channels on displays in certain shops. I look at the sky instead. They haven’t yet worked out how to put advertising in the sky yet.
• At the cafe in a bookshop, the wifi connection is not working on my computer. An unexpected bonus. Higher productivity today!
• Back home, the laptop gets flipped open. I have to stop myself surfing around; instead straight to work. It’s a welcome feeling of purpose.
• Dinner time, my parents often have news on whilst eating – but it gives me indigestion. We eat in dining room away from telly. Conversation with family is good.
• I finally stumble upon some news. The telly is on – local evening news. Floods in N.W. England teams of local volunteers helping to keep people fed and safe. This is genuinely moving. By a beautiful paradox, I chance upon the best three minutes of news all day.  A reminder not all news is negative.  I turn off the tv, before my luck runs out.

Overall

• I work as an economist, so I definitely need to keep up with economic news. I dislike politics and debate, but I still feel the need to keep informed on major topics, which affect my country and local surroundings.
• However, I was aware I’d slipped into spending too much time surfing the news. It was counter-productive and creating more negativity in my life.
• Being conscious of how easy it is to avoid work by surfing the net, the experiment of being very conscious about what I’m doing has been quite interesting, and valuable. There’s a great benefit to turning off and keeping life simple.
• For a long time, I’ve felt slightly guilty that I end up doing something I don’t really want to be doing. This has made me realise it is up to me, what I want to do.
• There were never any awkward moments of boredom. If you don’t spend 10 minutes reading news, what else can you do? Plenty of things.
• I felt it was quite a worthwhile day. Much easier than giving up chocolate for a day anyway.

Related

• Life without criticism
• Overcoming negativity
• Peace in the modern world

Footnotes

[1] Sri Chinmoy, Yoga And The Spiritual Life. The Journey of India’s Soul, Agni Press ↩