We all know we should be kind to animals and considerate of other people. But, are we actually kind to ourself? If you regularly find that you are beating yourself up or are plagued by guilt, it is worth making an effort to be a bit kinder to yourself. Here are some ideas so that you offer a bit of support for your good self.
The Past is Dust
‘The Past is Dust’ is one of the favourite sayings of my Spiritual teacher, Sri Chinmoy.
“I always say the past is dust. By thinking of it and brooding over it we cannot change the past or free ourselves from guilt. If we have done something wrong, it is past. Let us think of the immediate future and allow it to grow into the immediacy of today.” [1]
When we live in the past, we become plagued by regrets and guilt. By constantly reliving the past, we cannot change what has gone before. If we have made mistakes in the past, we should not feel that this is our permanent reality. Focus instead, on the present moment and see how you can improve and go forward. It is only by focusing on the present and doing the right thing, that we can learn from the past.
Do One Thing at a Time
We have all tried to juggle several things at once. We also know how stressful and difficult this is. Sometimes when we try to do several things at once, we give ourselves an exaggerated feeling of self importance. However, don’t pile pressure on yourself; value simplicity and do one thing at a time. When you focus on only your current activity, you are not only being kind to yourself; but, also will be able to do things much more effectively.
Give Time for Your Self Improvement
We spend many hours pleasing other people; 8 hours a day in the office, several hours meeting family and friends. Can we not find 15 - 20 minutes to look after ourself? If we can find 20 minutes a day, we can learn how to relax, meditate and find a moment of calm in the rush of daily life. To our surprise we may find that this 20 minutes of quiet reflection makes us more productive and we don’t actually lose any time at all.
Don’t Create Unnecessary Problems
Some problems are unavoidable, and we have to deal with them with detachment and equanimity. However, if we are honest, some problems can easily be avoided. Do you really need to dispute with your colleagues about minor work issues.
Don’t Seek to Meet the Expectations of Others
Some people can be quite demanding and place unrealistic expectations on us. Don’t feel obliged to meet the expectations of others. If you try to please everyone, you will always be striving for an unattainable goal.
Remember Your positive Contributions
Sometimes our mistakes and faults stick in our mind more than the good things we have done. At the end of the day, take time to remember some of the constructive, positive things you have done. This doesn’t have to be big achievements; sometimes a kind word to other people makes a big difference.
Be Happy
Life is there to be enjoyed. Don’t feel that if you suffer you will make more progress. It is when we are happy and in a good consciousness that can we be of greatest service to others.
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Photo by: Abedan, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries
[1] How do you deal with Guilt - Excerpt from The Hunger Of Darkness And The Feast Of Light, Part 1 by Sri Chinmoy.
4 comments ↓
A very timely post for me personally. I have been kicking myself pretty hard past few weeks for not “being good enough” especially at the workplace. It is very difficult to stop seeking approval but the bright side is that at least I am beginning to recognize the problem.
[...] Life is not about being hard on yourself, if you can’t be kind to yourself - who is going to be? Being kind to yourself involves several different aspects. I have written about this before. One particular example is - Dress smart - give yourself confidence by wearing clothes you are comfortable with. Wearing the right clothes for the situation makes a big difference to your self-confidence. see: Be Kind to Yourself [...]
All great points Tejvan, nice work!!
todd
Good reminders for a peaceful life. Thank you.
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